Deep my soul rests

In Search of my Center

2010-05-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

At the center of my being there is a flower waiting to bloom. At the center of my being is a sun about to rise. In the dark night before the morning I wait. I know the dawn will come. I know the flower will bloom. The waiting is not impatient; it is the quiet gathering, the deepest rest before life bursts forth in wonder and splendour unbound.

and so I wait... for what is to come will be amazing.

Card 33 Everything You Need

2009-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Card 33 - Everything you need.
Some cards are simple. Like this one with a single image.

I am the one with everything you need.

Card 35 At Home

2009-09-21T11:20:00.000-07:00

Card 35 At Home

I am the one who is at home in all places
I am the one who is everywhere at all things
I am the one who is The moon, the earth and the stars
I am the one who collects everything
I am the one with the knowledge of all things

I want you to sing and explore
I want you to know you are not alone
I want you to dream big and not be frightened
I want you to sail and fly
I want you to live in the light, not the dark

I give you space and patience
I give you a home
I give you love and acceptance
I give you opportunity and freedom
I give you everything you need

Purple Quan Yin

2009-09-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

The purple card for the planned Rainbow Series.

Card 32 Odin and Ravens

2009-08-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

I am the one who pushes you over
I am the one who remembers your dreams
I am the one who got lost in the barrens
I am the one who is stronger than I seem
I am the one strong from weakness
Who knows weakness is strength
I am the one who flies in the night, hunting, collecting, gathering, and singing
I am the one who knows all about you, who doesn’t care the mistake that you’ve made
I am the one who is always with you, who never hurts you, who lets you find your own way
I want to you to jump, to soar, to sing, to rise, to remember to dream, to find and explore
I want you to stop pretending and be
I want you to fight, stand up and know who you are.

Card 30 - The Witch who Watches

2009-08-09T15:04:00.001-07:00

I am the witch that watches you. I am the one who knows all your secrets and I am the one who will use them against you.

I am the one who bides her time watching and waiting knowing that one day you will mess up, fuck up and open the door.

I am the one who will come in and destroy it all

I am the one who will destroy, tear down wreak and ruin everything.

I am the one who will make you fall apart, lose ground and fall back in to the dark

I am the one you fight and one day you will lose.

I am the one who will make you lose everything

Card 14 and Card 20

2009-01-25T11:12:00.000-08:00

These two cards, card 14 and Card 20, (see below) go together in a way. I created them months apart, but ‘read’ then on the same day. Card 14, the Garden of Hunting Sorrows, is about some of the issues from my past that I continue to carry with me, although until recently I didn’t really know it.

The words for card 20, the second Chakra came shortly after ‘read’ Card 14. I was meditating and I saw this card in my mind and the words of Strength flowed forth, I gave up meditating a started to write.

The Second Chakra is the Sacral Chakra. It is an energy center located between the pelvis and bellybutton. It is the area of the womb for women.

Without attempting to sound too militant feminist, I believe that this Chakra is a place of power for women, a place to draw strength from. In our world today we don’t know how to do that. We’re taught to cover up, take a pill and keep it clean.

Well, let’s face it. I’m messy. We’re all messy in our own ways. And maybe we’re doing ourselves harm in hiding it.

GARDEN OF HAUNTING SORROWS, Card 14

2009-01-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

Garden of Haunting Sorrows, Card 14 st6

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who is scared.
I am the one who feels the pain long forgotten.
I am the one who bleeds for wounds that had no blood, who bleeds for the teasing, the disrespect, the misunderstandings of others.
I am the one who is too small, too little, too young.
I am the one who believed you when you said I couldn’t, I wasn’t capable, and didn’t even need to try.
I am the one who knew she’d fail without even trying because that’s what you said.
I am the one who listened to you and forgot to listen to herself.
I am the one who cried.
I am the one who still feeling it, still believes and is angry.
I am the one who hates you for it.
I am the one who cannot trust, is afraid because of you.
I am the one who screamed, I am the one who cried and I am the one no one heard.
I am the one too small underfoot to be noticed, who was ignored and forgotten
I am the one who learned to be quiet, learned no one would listen to her anyway.
I am the one who was too small, too little, too cute for her opinions to matter.
Who was never asked what she thought until it was too late and she didn’t know what she thought anymore.
I am the one who doubts, feels fear and is pretty sure that after you read this will run away too.
I am the one who does not trust you because of what others did.
I am the one who knows the indignity of that and yet cannot stop it.
I am the one who wants more but fears the ridicule.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME?

I give you...

Fear, doubt, tears and pain.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you too...

Know it will always be the same.

CUPS.THE SECOND CHAKRA, Card 20

2009-01-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

The Second Chakra, Card 20

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who fills you up.
I am the one who brings life.
I am the one who is the womb, the blood, the source of all life.
I am the mother, the sister, daughter.
I am the grandmother, aunt, child.
I am woman and all women.
I am the one who cleanses and brings clean fresh water.
I am the moon.
I am light and health. I am your blood and your tears.
I am your joy and your laughter.
I am purity and I am strength.
I am the one who fills you up with energy, ecstasy and joy.
I am the one who teaches love, compassion, caring and forgiving.
I am life.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME?

I give you...

I give you power, strength, energy, healing, ability to heal, ability to hear, a place to draw strength and find comfort.
I give you tears and blood and the knowledge to overcome.
I give you love, magic, happiness.
I give you a deep breath and the will to go on.
I give you secrets and a place to keep them safe.
I give you understanding, knowing, a place to rest.
I give you life.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you to...

Breather, remember, love, care and take care of you.
I want you to be with yourself and understand.
I want you to not let it rule you.
I want you to accept it.
I want you to shout that it hurt, that you bled and you cried.
I want you to know it, to own it, to hold it tight as part of you.
I want you to know it is just a part, not the whole, not the complete.
I want you to know there is more, a deep penetrating strength unused and forgotten.
I want you to find it, and live it, and believe it.
I want you to love who you are, all the inadequacies’, weaknesses, faults and doubts.
I want you to know that you are stronger than all of them.

GRANDMOTHERS LAUGHING AT YOU, card 18

2009-01-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

Grandmothers Laughing at You

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who laughs at you and all your seriousness. I am the one who knows it’s all just silly to get so worked up, fighting over Gods and religion.

I am the one who knows it doesn’t matter, all the arguments and law, all the details that can’t be missed. I am the one who doesn’t care if the rituals are perfect or right or said in a certain language.

I am the one who loves you, loves that you have faith as trembling and fumbling as it may be.

I am the one who just wants you to love and believe; whatever the form, whatever the way.

If you love that’s good enough for me.

I am the one who remembers play and laughter and wants laughter to ring thru the halls of God.

I am the one who forgets to be serious and enjoy the beauty and the awe.

I am the one who laughs until she cries tears of joy and tears of sorrow; who feels it all and revels in it.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME?

I give you...

I give you permission to laugh, to forget the seriousness.

I give you permission to cry, to feel and to let it all out.

I give you permission to be and to love and to grieve and feel all that you need to feel.

I give you beautiful things that are full of awe and grief. I give you that heart stopping feeling of grief and joy and sorrow and hate.

I know your grief and I know your pain and your guilt for not feeling more.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you to...

I want you to open up and let it out, feel, feel the emotions.

I want you to stop closing yourself off.

I want you to share and to smile with relief.

I want you to know relief and peace and the love of grandmothers, the grandmothers at peace
and rest.

I am the one who is your grandmothers laughing and at peace.

I am the one who holds them and hold you.

I am the one who loves you as your grandmothers love you and love your family and remember you as you remember them.

I am the one who feels as you, feels the pain, the sorrow and the wordless emotions.

I am the one who knows them too.

I am the one who feels them too.

I am the one who gives them names for you.

~

On January 3rd 2008, Margaret Lloyd, Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother Passed away.
On January 5th 2008 Ruth Nugent Ellis, Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother Passed away.

Two grandmother's greatly loved and are greatly missed.

Though I made this card over a month ago, it wasn't until Jan 6th that I heard the card speak.

SHEKINA card 3

2009-01-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

“Shekina”

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who is Shekina, gods dwelling place, a feminine word, a temple for the spirit.
I am a temple.
I am the spirit that dwells and doesn’t.
I am freedom; I am star shine and bright things.
I am peace, I am love.
I am fertility and nourishing and mother.
I am hope and I am faith.
I am a garden, I am a home, I am a flower, a bee, a berry, a bird.
I am all good things and all things that can be good.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you to...

I want you to be like all these things, to strive for them, to find them and hold them in your heart.
I want you to be a dwelling place for spirit, your spirit, a garden for your dreams.
I want you to shine like the stars and grow like a flower.
I want you to feel warmth and be warmth for others.
Be mother, be lover, and be a child.
I want you to fly, to shine, to plant roots and to soar
I want you to be

WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME?

I give you...

I give you nourishment, love, hope, life.
I give you peace, relaxation, contentment.
I give you sky to fly in, earth to lie on.
I give you pretty things, shiny things, loveliness.
I give you wings, I give you roots.
I give you life.

SAFER IN THE DARK card 17

2009-01-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

“Safer in the dark”

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who feels safer in the dark.
I am the one who doesn’t trust the world and knows she cannot stay safe in the world.
I am the one who hides behind masks and lives in the dark to be safe and comfortable.
I am the one who doesn’t reach out, doesn’t make waves, and doesn’t believe that she can be anything other than what she is.
I am the one who listens to the dark man keeps her mouth shut.
I am the one who knows this isn’t the way to live and knows better, but cannot change.
I am the one who wishes for more, but fears to reach for it; fears falling, drowning and getting lost in the pursuit. I am the one who fears judgement and fears disbelief and failure.
I am the one who feels safer in the dark.

WHAT TO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you to...
I want you to swim and dream. I want you to stay safe and seek the support needed to come out of the dark.
I want you to know the dark and not be afraid. I want you to carry a piece with you so you feel safe.
I want you to accept the desire to hide. I want you to know it’s okay to hide. I want you to know you can’t all the time.

WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME?

I give you...
I give you space, safety, shadows and night.
I give you a feeling of freedom, a feeling of comfort.
I give you the knowing that it’s false.
I give you privacy, hidden things and a place to hide them.
I give you boxes and closets, blankets and dust.
I give you holes and caves to bury things that no one will ever see.
I give you fear of the world.

(card 17)

SANCTUARY card 9 st 1

2009-01-05T11:58:00.000-08:00

“Sanctuary”

WHO ARE YOU?

I am the one who...

I am the one who finds it cold, looks in the trees, seeks god in the woods and finds him there.
I am the one who journeys and longs to hide, wants to be a hermit in the woods and find the divine in nature and answers in the dark.
I am the one who sees branches and antlers and knows Gods approach, finds the dwelling place of rest.
I am the one who hides in the afraid of the truth, the personal truth and the long to be heard.
I am the one who trips and falls over rocks and logs and words; stumbles with sounds and confusion.
I am the one who forgets and remembers too late.
I am the one who wants to be found.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

I want you to...

I want you to speak, find your voice, to use your words and play hid and seek
I want you to sit in the woods, to run in the woods
Be a child
Be an animal
Be brave and strong
To find solace in your heart and quiet in your soul
To remember why you hear and your chosen oneness
To let go the arrogance that comes from that
To find joyful acceptance and humour in your gifts and seek to express it with compassion
I want you to ask questions and to learn

WHAT DO YOU GIVE ME?

I give you...

I give you support and love, warmth and safety
I give you time and learning
Love and hugs, space to grow
Time to sleep, time to dwell, time to know
I give you nature as your sanctuary and joy in your surroundings.

Compassion

2009-01-04T11:38:00.001-08:00

Compassion

Zen

2009-01-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Zen

Another collage that, while not a soul card, speaks of a part of me. Cards coming soon.

Om

2009-01-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

Collaging is something that I've done for many years, I have always enjoyed do this, but never saw it as anything but something fun to do. Recently that has changed when I was introduced to Soul Collaging and the work of Sheena Frost. I have now found not just at outlet for my creativity, but a way to express my Spirituality.

There is something awe inspiring in the creation of soul cards for me. This image is not a soul card. I am in the process of scanning my cards and writing out their stories, some of which I will post here.

These are personal cards and I am torn with keeping my privacy and a desire to share something that I find deep meaning in and believe that others may find meaning in too.

We will see I suppose.